This week we have a slightly different inspirational story, different because it’s a man’s story. It’s sad that so few men are willing to speak out, and today I’m pleased to share Robin Hadley’s story.
Robin was probably the first childless man in the UK to speak out and he did this on the back of writing a PhD on men and childlessness. We’ve spoken a few times on skype and Robin was part of this groundbreaking conversation, the first of men and women discussing childlessness. I’m looking forward to meeting him face to face at the Conference this weekend.
I love the fact that Robin is ‘in a place he never thought he would be’ and I applaud his advice to Be kind to yourself wherever you are.’ great advice indeed.
Over to Robin,
1. Where are you on your journey now?
At a place I never thought I would be. I never thought I could do a PhD or talk about my experiences of being a man who wanted to be a dad and didn’t become one. I’m at a place where I see the need for men’s concerns and feelings about non-fatherhood to be acknowledged in the general, academic, medical and social media.
2. What’s your story?
I always expected to be a dad. Like a lot of men and women I just assumed this would happen. We tried in my first marriage and then we divorced. I was 30 at that time. A similar story happened in my next serious relationship in my mid 30’s. My then partner said she wanted me to be the father of her child and then we split up soon after.
I met my wife in my late 30’s and as she was a few years older than me she had already decided that her opportunity for motherhood had ended. I could have ended the relationship but I had no idea where I would meet another partner who would want me and who I loved to the same extent.
I was very ‘broody’ in my mid 30’s to 40’s and still have feelings of loss, sadness and yearning. [Read more…]