Here’s a question for you.
What events in your life have made you who you are today?
And whilst you’re thinking, here’s some help;
Take blank sheet of paper; draw a line down the middle.
On the left write “failure, shame, disaster, loss, challenge.”
And on the right write “success, happiness, pleasure, fulfilment, joy”.
Ask yourself, where would I like my life to be?
On the right of course, you’re human, so you want all those wonderful things.
And, being human you spend your life wishing and hoping that those on the left don’t happen. You go out of your way to avoid them, and when they do happen, you do whatever you can to pretend they didn’t. That’s the bad column; we can agree that.
Okay, so now go back to the question and name the top three events in your life that shaped you and made you the woman you are now.
Every single one of them is in the left column.
Yes they are.
My three are: Coming to terms with being childless, losing my parents and writing my book.
(Now I hope that my book doesn’t come into the ‘failure or disaster’ category, but writing it is certainly really challenging me in so many ways).
I had this conversation recently with a good friend and she was sceptical at first, citing so many lovely and happy experiences from her childhood. After a few moments though she changed her mind and we concluded that what happens in your childhood is important, and maybe it gives you a foundation and determine how you deal with the challenging events. And it’s your response to the challenging events that really shape who you are.
What are your top three?
I’ll take a wild guess and suggest that coming to terms with being childless is also in your top three. I think we can all agree that it definitely belongs in the left column. So the question now becomes: