It’s that time of year again and you can probably feel the tension and stress building.
Maybe the idea of hiding somewhere until January sounds attractive but unfortunately that’s not possible. Like an out of control train, Christmas is coming and you can’t stop it. So you may as well prepare yourself as much as you can.
I’m not sure how I feel about Christmas these days. I’m as at peace with not having children as I’ll ever be but not having my parents is tougher to deal with. There are a number of reasons, I guess mainly to do with missing their presence on the day.
And there are opportunities too. Opportunities for us to do things a little bit differently, to start our own, new traditions.
For example I’m going to rock the boat this year and not have Christmas pudding (because, let’s be honest, who REALLY enjoys it?), instead I’m thinking maybe steamed chocolate sponge. We’ll try it this year; see if we like it and if not we can do something different next year.
I love that what we do is changing and evolving, we’re keeping those things we love and making our own mark on the day.
I also know there will be times when I feel overwhelmed or triggered by something or I really want to escape.
And I’m guessing you will too. Here’s a short audio which, when you use it will make you feel better in any situation.
I’ve listed below the previous blogs I’ve written to help you get through this time of year, and also included other resources including a couple of really helpful videos.
And please remember: it WILL pass, YOU WILL get through it. This year will go better than last year and in no time at all it will be January.
Here are my blogs:
Life Without Baby: Holiday Companion
As Lisa writes on Life Without Baby ‘ When you’re a childless woman, the bombardment of family-focused activities during the holiday season can be enough to make you want to hibernate until January. Lisa Manterfield and Kathleen Guthrie Woods know exactly how that feels, and they have written something that can help.
Holiday Companion is a compilation of humorous, healing, and thought-provoking posts drawn from the archives of Life Without Baby, the international online community for women who are childfree by choice, chance, or circumstance. By sharing their own experiences, survival tips, and insights from their readers, Manterfield and Woods offer encouragement and compassion to help you get through the holidays and get closer to making peace with being childfree.’
Coping with family gatherings
Corrina Gordon Barnes has recorded two short videos which I think are superb in helping you to prepare for a family gathering.
The first is for you if ‘The people at your family gathering are not how you want them to be. Intellectually, you know the way to peace is through acceptance. “I just need to make peace with them and let this go.” But HOW do you do this when the situation’s so challenging?’ Here’s Dreading The Family Gathering? Try This.
And the second is for you if ‘your highest intention isn’t to leave the family get-together saying, “Thank goodness I survived that.”
Yes, it’s a start! – but I’m guessing you’d rather say: “I’m proud of how I showed up.”
You want to show up as the best version of you. The authentic you. The you that your best friends know and love. The you that’s done work on yourself and should have the skill to move beyond old (painful) patterns.
But being on form at a challenging family get-together is easier said than done
It’s all too common to fall into the same pit as last year: tension, disconnect, annoyance, frustration.’
Watch How To Have The Best Possible Family Get-Together and learn how to change the story
You’ll be aware that they’re not written for childless women.
And above all, please remember self-kindness and self-compassion so do take care of yourself.
I wish you a peaceful Christmas.
What do you think?
Did this article help you? If so please add a comment (you can use another name) to help other women like you.
And if there are other resources that you find helpful for Christmas, please leave a link to them below.
If you want more support over the holidays check out Small Steps to Healing, a self-paced programme to start your journey to a fulfilling life. It contains easy to learn techniques to give you a boost at any time and especially at this time of year.